Azure
by SRHtheHedgehog
Summary: Shinji ponders his true feelings for Hikari. Ikarishipping, songfic


A/N: This will seem pretty rushed. I wrote this for my English class, but I was only allowed 2 pages o_o" I think that I only went slightly over (the lyrics and spacing make it seem longer than it is).

This is my first shot at a songfic. The song is "Azure" by Duel Jewel. It's quite easy to find on a stream at places like esnips if you take a look, and it would help to listen as you read and follow along with the lyrics. I didn't translate them XD I found them somewhere on the internet (along with the translation), so dun keel me if it's yours x:

* * *

I'm not in love with her.

_Let's fly into the sky kasoku suru kokoro konya wa omoi wo tsugeyou  
__Sunao ni narenai jibun wo kaerareru ki ga suru kara  
__(Let's fly into the sky, my accelerating heart, tonight let's tell our feelings  
__Because I sense that it can change my inability to be honest.)_

I'm quite aware that we're traveling together. This means nothing. The only reason I'm stuck with the troublesome girl is she insisted that she needed someone new to train with. I told her to get off my back, but she followed me and I can't seem to shake her off.

"Shinji?"

"What?" I snapped.

"I just wanted to know what you wanted for lunch!" She looked insulted. It was her own fault for blathering about nothing all the time.

"It doesn't make any difference to me." I turned away and went back to my training. I commanded my Torterra to use SolarBeam once again, determined to make it learn the attack. Small spheres of what appeared to be light collected on it and its mouth opened. A large yellow beam was fired at a nearby tree, shattering it into bits.

Finally.

The stupid girl, starting to boil some water for instant noodles, clapped enthusiastically. What was she so excited about? It was just a SolarBeam attack. Any pokemon could learn it. That little display was nothing to be excited about. I wanted to keep trying to get it to a satisfactory level, but…

_Itsumo tooi basho kara mitsumeteru kimi no egao  
__Mabushi sugite mune ga itai yo kimi no kirai ni naritai...  
__(Always from a distant place, I watch your smiling face.  
__It's so bright that my chest hurts. I wish I could hate you...)_

"Shinji, I think it's time for you to come eat something. You've been training all morning." She released her pokemon and presented them with huge plates of the Poffins they loved so much. They gobbled down the little, pink, cookie-like objects in almost no time at all. She held out a cup of instant noodles, smiling at me.

I'm horrified to even ponder the idea that the feeling I'm getting is anything but nausea.

I hesitantly took the noodles from her. "Thanks. You're not as troublesome as I thought." She perked up slightly, sitting down with her own noodles. "…But that doesn't mean you're not still troublesome." She suddenly looked infuriated.

_Koe wo kakeru koto mo dekinakute fuan dake ga tsunoru  
__(I can't call out to you. Only my unease grows.)_

"Look! We've been over this at least 10 times already! My name. Is. HIKARI!" she screeched. Never in my life had I met someone as loud as her.

"And we've been over _this_ at least 10 times already. I. Really. Don't. _Care._" I picked up my chopsticks and slurped up some noodles.

She angrily grabbed hers as well. "Whatever. You'll get it sooner or later." What an interesting little fantasy world she lived in.

_Let's fly into the sky kasoku suru kokoro konya wa omoi wo tsugeyou  
__Kisetsu ga sora wo tsutsumu you ni futari yorisotteitai  
__(Let's fly into the sky, my accelerating heart, tonight let's tell our feelings  
__I want the two of us to become closer, just as the season engulfs the sky.)_

I glanced over at her from under my thick, purple bangs. She still seemed irked about me "not knowing her name." I knew her name full well. I just freely chose not to use it. I found it much more entertaining to watch her flip out over something so stupid.

Yes, I suppose that you could call that "teasing." I prefer to think of it as "Shinji's Amusement."

_Hito wa deai to wakare kurikaeshi tsuyoku nareru?  
__Nara kono mama yowakute ii yo kimi wo hanashitaku wa nai........  
__(People meet and depart, do they become stronger from this cycle?  
__If so, then I'm fine with being weak. I don't want to part from you........)_

We soon finished our quick lunch and returned our pokemon. It was time to get moving again. We had to get out of this stupid forest before her stupid contest came up in the next town. I really didn't care much when I got my gym badge, but I figured the sooner the better. We walked through the trees quietly, as usual.

"Ah…Shinji…" Something was wrong. She sounded…even wimpier than usual. Her voice was very soft, as if she wasn't sure if she really wanted me to hear her.

"What?"

"Do…do you…ah, never mind…"

"Finish what you started, stupid girl." I heard her footsteps stop. Thinking that she might not be feeling well, I turned around to see what was the matter with her.

_Osae kirenu kodou misukashita natsu no hizashi ga yobu  
__(You detected my heart beat that I couldn't completely supress. The rays of the summer sun call to me.)_

I saw that she was EXTREMELY close to me. My pulse soared as I tried to suppress the inevitable. I knew what would happen. Seeing those liquid blue eyes would melt me inside as I tried to keep whatever fragments that were left frozen…well, frozen.

It was time to face the facts.

I had fallen to pieces.

The Shinji I had known before no longer existed.

Finally (and reluctantly) accepting this was the only thing I had left to secure my sanity.

_Let's fly into the sky kasoku suru kokoro konya wa omae wo tsugeyou  
__Sunao ni narinae jibun wo kaerareru ki ga suru kara  
__(Let's fly into the sky, my accelerating heart, tonight let's tell our feelings  
__Because I sense that it can change my inability to be honest.)_

"Well…I…"

"Spit it out already." It took everything I had to keep my voice from shaking. She had never stood this close to me before. It scared me in ways I couldn't fathom. It was no longer because I couldn't accept what was fact, it was now a matter of self control. I wanted nothing more than to touch her cheek or something to keep her from looking so shaken up.

What a weakling I'd become.

_Gyakkyou no genjou saku mo nai  
__Hitorikiri no yoru kara nigedase RAISE YOUR HANDS!!  
__(I don't even have a plan for adversity.  
__Run away from the lonely night. RAISE YOUR HANDS!!)_

"We've been traveling together for a few days or so…"

"Yes, and…"

"I…there's something I've been meaning to tell you. Something that I've wanted to tell you for years. Something that I've only been able to hold back until right now." Her voice shook as much as I imagined that mine did.

"…So, get on with it!" I snapped impatiently.

That stupid girl leaned up to me and gently pressed her lips to mine.

_Tsumetaku tsuki hanashitari ki no nai soburi o shitari  
__Wasure you toshite mitemo omoi wa tsunoru bakari de yoru mo nemurenai  
__(I want to coldly push you away, I want to act like I'm uninterested.  
__Even if I try to forget, my heart only grows fonder and I can't sleep at night.)_

It was only for a moment, but it felt as if time stopped during that small slot of my life. She quickly broke away and looked at the ground. She slapped her hand over her mouth, obviously shocked at her own action.

_Fly high into the sky doko made mo yukeru yuuki wo ataete kureta ne  
__Donna ni kanashii wakare ga soko ni atta toshite  
__(Fly high into the sky. You gave me the courage to go anywhere,  
__Even if a sorrowful parting is there.)_

"Don't act like that, annoying girl," I mumbled quietly.

"But…Shinji, I…"

"It's…it's fine. Just get over it. Let's get going." I turned away, trying to shield the faint blush that was slowly trying to take over my face.

The troublesome girl attacked me with a hug from behind. What part of "it's fine" implied that I wanted a hug?!

"Thank you, Shinji."

_Namida yori mo fukaku itamu kokoro yori tsuyoku  
__Hito wa mata hito o aishi aruki daseru.........  
__(Deeper than tears, stronger than a hurting heart,  
__People can love another person again and walk foward.........)_

"For what?"

"For returning my feelings. That was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life."

"I never said I returned anything." I shook her off of me and continued forward.

"You don't have to say anything, Shinji," she said from behind me, a smirk evident in her voice. "That blush on your face gives it away."


End file.
